Anekdot , Joke about Flight

SHARK REPELENT

Flight 50 has a pretty rough time above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom : "Ladies and gentleman, please fasten your seat belts and assume crash positions. We have lost our engines and we are trying to put this baby as gentle as possible down on the water."

"Oh, stewardess! Are there any sharks in the Ocean below?" asks a little old lady, terrified.
"Yes, I am afraid there are some. but not to worry, we have a special gel in the bottle next to your chair designed especially for emergencies like this. Just the gel onto your arms and legs."
"And if I do this, the Sharks won't eat me?" asks the little lady.
"Oh, they will eat you all right, only they won't enjoy it so much."
:) :)

AUTO PILOT

HE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH FAITH IN THEM

At a software engineering management course in the United States of America, the participants are given an awkward question to answer.
" If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately ?"

Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, one man sits motionless. When asked what he would do, he replies, "I would be quite content to stay onboard. With this team's software, the plane is unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off."

Joke

PILOT TO TOWER

" Pilot to Tower ! Pilot to Tower ! I am 300 miles from land. Six Hundred feet over water and running out of fuel. Please instruct !"

" Tower to Pilot. Tower to Pilot. Repeat after me, "Our Father, Who art in heaven ... "

Anekdot in-flight

BOARDING FROM WHAT GATE ?

At the airport for a business trip, a man settles down to wait for the boarding announcement at gate 35.
Then he hears the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Lion Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."

So

he picks up his luggage and carries it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice tells him that Flight 570 will in fact be boarding from Gate 35.
So, again, he gathers his carry on luggage and returns to the original gate. Just as he is settling down, the public address voice speaks again: "Thanks you for participating in LION's physical fitness program". :) :)

Flight Jokes

An Emergency Landing

When an airliner encounters severe turbulence in flight, the captain urgently announces, "Ladies and Gentleman, we are going to have an emergency landing. Please be seated and fasten your seatbelt,"

Immediately, the vibration stops. A passenger then hastily emerges from a lavatory. Knowing that he has been a long time in the lav, a stewardess asks him, "Are you all righht, Sir?" You were there awfully long ! It is good thing the turbulence has stopped now!"
"Oh, yeah." the man sheepishly explains. "I was just doing a little jogging in place in there."