Beautiful Berries

On one side of a river, lived a rabbit, and on the other side a bear.
One fine day, the bear was sitting on a stump, enjoying his breakfast of berries. Then he heard someone yelling at him. It was the rabbit.
"Hey Teddy! Get your butt over here. I've got something to show you!"
"Not now! I am eating."
"Oh come on!" said the rabbit. "It's really important."
"No way."
"Please. It's urgent."

So the bear decided to go all the way over the wide river. It took him all day and all night to get over to the other side. He nearly drowned. And when he finally got there he was groaning and panting, and wheezing for air.
"Well, rabbit," he panted. "What did you want to tell me?"
"Well, Teddy," the rabbit began, "look how many berries are on the other side of the river!"

hehehe .. this animal humor  ^_^

Airline Food

A man was on a flight to Hong Kong from Europe.
Since the flight was going to be a very long flight, he decided to get some shuteye and sleep.
Soon he was awakened by a flight attendant who asked him if he'd like to have some dinner.

He said, "What are my choices?"
The flight attendant says, "Yes or No"
heheehe :)
This is just Humor

Being an Animal

If someone calls you an animal, just remember the following:
I work like a horse
I eat like a pig
I like to play chicken
They call me a durty rat
You can get my goat
I can be as quiet as a mouse
They say I'm as quick as a cat
I used to be as strong as an ox
I don't like hen parties
Please don't badger me
People try to buffalo me
Some people thunk I'm a gone goose
I'm as ugly as a toad
You should see the puss on me
I'm as gentle as a lamb
And I'm as happy as a lark
I drink like a fish
I'm as proud as a peacock
And I'm as hairy as a gorilla
And there's a frog in my throat
I've got goose bumps all over
I've got the memory of an elephant
But I'm no sitting duck
I can be a lone wolf
But I'm having a whale of a time
O what animal we can be !!

just humor

Humor when Drive

This is a humor about means of transportation.

Should I stop first ?
Learning to drive is not an easy task.
Sometimes, even the brightest students can become flustered behind the wheel.
One day, an instructor in driver education was coaching three beginners in the car.
Each student was scheduled to drive for 30 minutes.
When the first student had completed his time, the instructor asked him to change places with one of the others.
gripping the wheel tightly and staring straight ahead, the student asked in a shaky voice, "should I stop the car?"

Humor about Phone

Hi! You have reached the headquarters of Laugh it-up. If you wish to speak Harry, please press 1. If you want the Fire Department, press 2. If you need the psyhchic hotline, press3. For the distributor, press 4. If you have no idea who to talk to, just read these jokes.

Phone call
Harry's phone rings at 3 A.M
"What do you want?" He shouts into the receiver.
"Nothing," is the reply.
"Then why are you calling in the middle of the night?" Harry asks angrily.
"Because the night rate is cheaper."

Call the Fire Department

An agitated man calls the fire department and says " Help me, my house is on fire!!"
The Fireman asks, "where do you live?"
The man replies, "I am too distrcted, I can't tell you the exact address."
The fireman says, "How do you expect us to get there?"
The man snaps, "What do you mean 'how'? In the big, red truck, of course!"

Einstein's Chauffeur

When Albert Einstein is making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually finds himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as he is being driven to yet another boring dinner, Einstein mentions to his chauffer ( a man who somewhat resembles Einstein in looks and manner) that he is tired of speech making.
"I have an idea, boss," his chauffer says. 'I have heard you give this speech so many times, I will bet I could give it for you.'
Einstein laughs loudly and says, 'why not? Lets do it!'
When they arrive at the dinner, Einstein puts on the chauffer's cap and jacket and sits in the back of the room. The chauffer gives a beautiful performance of Einstein's speech and even answers a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely self-important professor asks an extremely complicated question about antimatter formation, stop to talk about something else here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he is nobody's fool.
Without a moment's hesitation, the chauffer fixes the professor with a steely stare and says, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffer, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."

hahaha ... :)

Zipper Incident

This story about my funny experience. One morning, my brother and I rode with our father halfway to the office. When we got to the Pancoran area, which is my usual drop off zone, I got out and started to cross street to get on the bus when suddenly I heard a voice on a loudspeaker, "MBAK ...... MBAK ....!"
I looked around and saw a policeman beckoning to me. Well, OK, the Pancoran street is really wide. So, maybe he actually needed that loudspeaker. But why? What was wrong with me? Was it because I didn't use the zebra cross? I was so scared, but I came up to him and asked with an innocent face and in the gentlest voice I could produce, "Yes,sir?"
The Policeman said, "so you won't be embarrassed later ...." The loudspeaker was still on! His voice echoed through the whole street. Everyone instantly looked in our direction, even those standing far, far away from us. And then he continued, "You forgot to zip up your skirt." Luckily, he did not say the last sentence on the loudspeaker.

Of course I couldn't zip up my skirt under those watchful eyes, so I just covered its back with my big bag. Oh gosh! What a bad start!!

The Falling Fruits

Following a big fruit harvest in the area where I used to live, my parents brought home a lot of Duku, Jackfruit, and Rambutan. There were so many of them, we still had bags of fruits even after sharing them with neighbors. Having a date with a friend, I decided to bring her some. Carrying a plastic bag full of Duku, I got on the bus. As I did so, the plastic bag holding the Dukus broke open and the small round fruits rolled all over the street.

Silly me, instead of leaving them alone, I went to all the trouble of picking each and every Duku off the street. Oncoming cars had to stop and wait for me to collect the dukus. All the passengers were smiling broadly at my stupidity.

Joke when Going Shopping

For some people shopping is a lifestyle activity, to find something they need, or just browsing around, it's how they look at it. No matter what you think about it, you can always have fun doing shopping, Enjoy ! and feel free to laugh when read another jokes :)

Crowded Store
It is the day of the Big Sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) are the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store. A small man pushes his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he is punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he gets up the second time, he says to the person at the end of the line, "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"

ha ha ha .. :) The guy is knock out is the store owner.

Jokes about means of Transportation

Good Finding
A man was filling his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked but, sure enough, it was lost. He thought for a second, and then realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road. He thought even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit.
Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click.
"Great," he thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. And this one's even better because it locks."

Announcement on a Public Bus
Heard on a public transportation vehicle in Jakarta : " When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step. If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. "

Feel Enjoy to laugh , ha ha ha .. :)

Jokes of Transportation

The car goes 'clunk' !
An auto mechanic received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners." Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a "cluck". He then made a left turn and again heard a "clunk."
Back at the shop, he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with the notation, "Removed bowling ball from trunk."

The Multicolored Cab
Two cab driver met. "Hey," asked one, "Why did you paint one side of your cab red and the other side blue ?"
" Well," the other responded, "When I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."
The Train has Failed
A large two-engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. "No problem," the engineer thought, and carried on at half power.
Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill.
The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement: " Ladies and Gentleman, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that you decided to take the train and not the airplane."

Feel Free to Laugh, ha ha ha .. :)

Humor when going Shopping

For some people shopping is a lifestyle activity, to find something they need, or just browsing around, it's how they look at it. No matter what you think about it, you can always have fun doing shopping, Enjoy ! and feel free to laugh when read this jokes :)

Shoplifter
A shoplifter is caught red-handed trying to to steal a watch from an exclusively jewelry store.
"Listen", the shoplifter tells the manager, 'I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?'
The Manager agrees and writes up the sales slip.
The crook looks at the slip and says, 'This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?'

ha .. ha .. Funny !