Humor about Phone

Hi! You have reached the headquarters of Laugh it-up. If you wish to speak Harry, please press 1. If you want the Fire Department, press 2. If you need the psyhchic hotline, press3. For the distributor, press 4. If you have no idea who to talk to, just read these jokes.

Phone call
Harry's phone rings at 3 A.M
"What do you want?" He shouts into the receiver.
"Nothing," is the reply.
"Then why are you calling in the middle of the night?" Harry asks angrily.
"Because the night rate is cheaper."

Call the Fire Department

An agitated man calls the fire department and says " Help me, my house is on fire!!"
The Fireman asks, "where do you live?"
The man replies, "I am too distrcted, I can't tell you the exact address."
The fireman says, "How do you expect us to get there?"
The man snaps, "What do you mean 'how'? In the big, red truck, of course!"

Einstein's Chauffeur

When Albert Einstein is making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually finds himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as he is being driven to yet another boring dinner, Einstein mentions to his chauffer ( a man who somewhat resembles Einstein in looks and manner) that he is tired of speech making.
"I have an idea, boss," his chauffer says. 'I have heard you give this speech so many times, I will bet I could give it for you.'
Einstein laughs loudly and says, 'why not? Lets do it!'
When they arrive at the dinner, Einstein puts on the chauffer's cap and jacket and sits in the back of the room. The chauffer gives a beautiful performance of Einstein's speech and even answers a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely self-important professor asks an extremely complicated question about antimatter formation, stop to talk about something else here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he is nobody's fool.
Without a moment's hesitation, the chauffer fixes the professor with a steely stare and says, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffer, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."

hahaha ... :)

Joke when Going Shopping

For some people shopping is a lifestyle activity, to find something they need, or just browsing around, it's how they look at it. No matter what you think about it, you can always have fun doing shopping, Enjoy ! and feel free to laugh when read another jokes :)

Crowded Store
It is the day of the Big Sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) are the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store. A small man pushes his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he is punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he gets up the second time, he says to the person at the end of the line, "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"

ha ha ha .. :) The guy is knock out is the store owner.

Jokes about means of Transportation

Good Finding
A man was filling his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked but, sure enough, it was lost. He thought for a second, and then realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road. He thought even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit.
Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click.
"Great," he thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. And this one's even better because it locks."

Announcement on a Public Bus
Heard on a public transportation vehicle in Jakarta : " When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step. If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. "

Feel Enjoy to laugh , ha ha ha .. :)

Hide Bag

Radhit was known as the naughty boy in our class. He enjoyed playing pranks on us, especially on a particular girl named Ningrum. One day, Ningrum decided to get even with him. She did his binder inside her bag. She didn't realize that right after that Radhit also hid something belonging to her, the very same bag!
The rest of the class kept silent and enjoyed watching their silly behavior.
"Hey, where's my bag? Radhit ... it must be you again. Give it back to me!" screamed Ningrum at the top of her voice.
Radhit only replied calmly, "Not until someone returns my binder. I get the feeling that that someone is you!"

We almost died wit laughter when we heard Ningrum answer tartly, "Your binder's inside my bag, you fool!

ha ha .. You hid your own stuff!

Restaurant Rumblings

I had been invited by my girlfriend's parents to have dinner at a rather fancy restaurant. It would also be the first time that I would meet them. Hours before the occasion, I already felt nervous and couldn't eat anything at lunch. But I decided to look my most possible best. Neatly combed and wearing a freshly laundered white linen shirt and dark blue pants, I was sure I would make a good impression. When I arrived at the restaurant, I was greeted not only by my girlfriend's parents, but, it seemed, by her whole extended family. But I could see that they all seemed to approve of me, so I felt rather relieved. I was seated opposite my girlfriend, between her parents. While waiting for the food to arrive, we all chatted amiably among ourselves. Finally the waiter appeared, carrying the first course of the meal. While he carefully placed the big bowl of soup in the middle of the table, everybody fell silent. Just then my stomach started to rumble:
roar .. roar.. roar.

The rumblings were very loud and clear, and everybody at the table turned to look at me. It wa shard for me to smile, even sheepishly. ^_^

Forgetful

Theo Paphitis, an entrepreneur well known for turning failing companies into highly successful and profitable businesses, has a motto: 'There are three reasons to be in business. To make money, to have fun and to make money.' And here are some examples of the fun reason.

Forgetful
"George is so forgetful," the sales manager complains to his secretary. "It's a wonder he can sell and I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back."
Just then the door flies open, and in bounces George. 'You will never guess what happened!' he shouts. "While I was at lunch, I met Old Man Brown, who hasn't bought anything from us in five years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me this half-million dollar order!"
"See?" sighs the sales manager to his secretary."I told you he'd forget the sandwiches."

Funny business

Business Trick

Theo Paphitis, an entrepreneur well known for turning failing companies into highly successful and profitable businesses, has a motto: 'There are three reasons to be in business. To make money, to have fun and to make money.' And here are some examples of the fun reason. (Funny Business)

Business Trick
A grocer puts up a sign that reads "eggplants, 25 cent each - three for a dollar."
All day long, costumers come in exclaiming,"Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"
Every time, quietly the grocer concedes and packages four eggplants. The tailor next door has been watching these antics and finally asks the grocer, 'Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?'
"What mistake?" the grocer asks.
'Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than eggplant.'

Funny :)
review of Rapper

Sorry, Boss

One day, I dropped by at my friend's house. After we talked for about an hour, she went out to buy us lunch. before she left, I borrowed her Nokia cell phone and read her funny SMS. I had never used a Nokia cellphone before and my friend used English as the Language on the cell, a language that I wasn't too good at. I got a bit confused. When she came back, there were about 20 incoming SMSes. Surprised, she read all of them. Most of them were short messages stating how funny the joke was. We were confused. She asked me if I had sent any SMS to her friends. I shrugged and said I really didn't know what I had done with her cellphone. A new short text message came in and my friend was completely shocked. It was from her boss. He wrote: "Not funny, young lady. I am your Boss, remember?"

She contacted him immediately, he was very upset. He said it was impolite to send him such SMS. She asked him what kind of SMS had been sent from her cellphone. he read it to her: "One day, a Lion, a Tiger and a Fox are having a meeting in a jungle. But the meting has been postponed because they have been waiting for the monkey who is reading this SMS".

My friend's face turned red. I was so ashamed. She made me apologize to her boss that very moment on the phone. The following week, when my friend and I attended a book fair, we met her boos. She introduced me to him. The Boss then looked at me and said, "So, this is the queen of the jungle who sent me the SMS. How was the meeting?"

My friend couldn't help laughing. Me? I felt like disappearing.

is it a Boy or Girl ?

Sunday, June 25th was the most embarrassing but also the funniest day for me. That day DS was celebrating its 44th anniversary by organizing many contest at Dufan. Four of my friends and I joined the Video Jockey contest. Two Girls from different place became the VJ's, while two other boys and I from my place became the guest stars, Destiny's Child. As Destiny's Child we had to impersonate girls, and of course we were dressed like girl. I was shocked to find that our senior wanted to put make up on us. I tried to hide but of course it was useless. To make it worse, there were some people in monkey suits teasing me.
Then the time came for us to get on the stage.

When the VJ's called us, we ran onto the stage and said hello to the audience. I felt so nervous. The audience hysterically laughed at us. Oh, GOD .... it was the most embarrassing moment. Unlike my two friends who enjoyed their roles, I was speechless. Since that day, I swear I will never want to act as a girl anymore.

But I was happy ... not because my senior said that I looked beautiful, but because we won the 1st Prize !!!

RIDING MOTORCYCLE

Looks Guys, I'm riding, oops! I mean pushing, my Motorcycle

I was so excited when I could finally ride a motorcycle. Well, I was not very skillful yet, but a trip around the neighborhood shouldn't be the hard, right ? So, one lovely afternoon, I decided to take a ride. There was a basketball court near my house where all the hottest hunks of the town usually hung out. Wow, what a golden opportunity for me to show off my riding skills to them ! Without further ado, I pushed my motorcycle to full speed. just when I passed the basketball court,

the engine suddenly went off ! I tried again and again to start it, but it didn't work! All the boy were looking at me, wondering what that silly Girl was trying to do. Oh, I was so embarrassed ! Confused and in despair, I finally pushed my motorcycle all the way home .... Yeah, I did get their attention, but not the kind I'd wanted at all!

Blushing,joke and anekdot

Having a First Child

Another Joke about it happens in the Family

Djoni and his wife are making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child.
After everything checked out, the doctor takes a small stamp and stamps the wife's stomach with indelible ink.

The couple is curios about what the stamp is for, so when they get home, the husband gets out his magnifying glass to try to see what it is.
in very tiny letters, the stamp says, "When you can read this without a magnifying glass, come back and see me."
:-) :-)

Jokes in Family

It happens in the Family

What does a child means to its family ? probably it's their most precious possession. Stories about a family with child may effect you in many ways. Sometimes thay make you sad, or angry, but sometimes they also make you Laugh. You will Love the following tales.

Woman is on a Bus
A woman gets on a bus holding a baby.
The Bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

Angrily, the woman slams her fare into the fare box and takes an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her senses that she is agitated and asks her what is wrong.
"The Bus driver insulted me," she fumes.
The man sympathizes and says, " Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
" You are right," She says. " I think I will go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's the good idea." the man syas.
" Here, let me hold your MONKEY "
:-) :)